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I'm sorry to hear that. My prayers go out to the family and friends.

I have a request myself. Last night the theater that I've worked out (on and off) since 1998 may close this year. It's the only real theater in my local area and we are always consistently putting on the best productions with the best talent. After years of fighting the economy, they may be throwing in the towel. My close friends own the theater and this effects literally 100's of local actors and 100's loyal ticket holders. Personally, I feel like I've lost all of the biggest things that mean most to me in the past 3 years, yet I see things restored or replaced as well. While it seems that the decision has been made, we have at least 6 or 7 months (and 5 more shows) for things to turn around.

I hate the idea of the theater NOT being there. I hate that my favorite place to work at could be gone. I hate not having my family and friends around to work with all the time. I know there are other options for me but I really and struggling to feel a sense of purpose at the moment.

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thanks for the prayers AJ, I'll be praying that things work out the best with your theater...

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

y'all may noticed that i've been away from the board well it's cause that it's been a long week for me and i'm praying for my father gracia miller sr. since he's not feeling too well right now since he got diagnosed with dementia and he has a lump in his lung after he got sick tuesday morning with a seizure after we ate breakfast together, i'm trying my best to keep my head up but it's been hard for me and my family, it seems like everyday this week the news on him has been worse and worse, please keep him and us in your prayers, i appreciate yall since the jjfp.com board has been like to an extended fam to me, i'm playing "the rain" right now trying to keep the positive energy alive...

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I'm sorry to hear that, man. I pray things turn around. You never know....last week one of my friends got the news that his cancer was back (after being free from it for 10 years!). He went in for surgery and was told all they can do is treat him with radiation. If that didn't fix it, nothing would. Well, 2 days ago he awoke from surgery and found out that it was just scar tissue from the surgery he had years ago. The last year of his life has been awful so this news feels like the start of things turning around for him.

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that's some great news for your friend AJ, yeah i'm just trying to keep positive about things and not think about the worst since i know it's best that my father's being taken care of, it's been the longest week and a half for me, my father has been placed in a rehabilitation center, i went to see him with my mother a couple days ago and he seems to be in good spirits so that's encouraging, we'vebeen doing a lot of paper work and making sure all that business is straight, it's been a lot for the family to deal with but so far we're doing all right considering the circumstances, just taking it one day at a time like everybody is

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I wrote this morning reflecting over everything that's been going on lately with my papa, this is called "Come To Grip", I appreciate all the love and support:

All these thoughts in my head
Telling me that this is the end
Are nothing but false tense
Since I'm gonna remain positive
Knowing what I've been through
That's how I tell you
There's a way I come to grip
Without starting to flip
Even though life could be a trip
Asking myself how could this happen
But I come to grip
Since God leads the victory ahead

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i'd like to share a few of my thoughts to my friends out there about how i've been feeling lately with the situation i've been going through with my father, i appreciate all the support y'all give, i keep y'all in my thoughts and prayers as well: my mother has been having a head cold over the last week or so so i've been doing more things for her around the house trying to take the load off of her feet, things have been up and down for us but we're thankful that we're making it through and we've been calling the rehabilitation center and my father's hanging in there as well, we haven't got to see him for the past week since my mother hasn't been feeling well but we're hopeful to see him tomorrow since it's been a good weekend for us, we've been able to relax and watch some funny dvds together like "dr. dolittle" and "big momma's house" and i felt good watching some of the chicago bulls-miami heat game on tv this afternoon, i was even having a problem with the soundcard of my computer that i fixed the settings to today so i'm able to listen to some music on youtube.com again, listened to some of the new krs-one album on there which felt great since he's one great inspirational rapper that makes me feel good about life, music always been a therapy for me as well, i'm staying working on my lyrics as well, i feel i have a lot to say and on that note i close out this note by saying peace to my peeps good bless and good night...
-i also came to the realisation that the first rhyme I wrote on New Year's 2012 was "The power of God lives in Gracia/A proclamation of hip hop's love", I feel god's been trying to tell me something, I'm gonna keep in moving 'cause bright days are ahead....

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i copied and pasted my thoughts i wrote on my facebook page about seeing my papa yesterday at the rehab center just in case y'all didn't see it, thanks for the support tim, i'm keeping it moving:
it was bittersweet to see papa yesterday for at the rehab for a few reasons
*the good thing is that he still knows who me, mama, the family and friends are
*another good thing is that he knows to still talk to god about life's situations and that i told him i've been reading my french bible once again and said "Je t'aime papa" to him once again, he helped me learn my french
*it's definately sad ...to see that he's confused about things around him and that he doesn't fully understand what's going on with his body because he'd always have a sense about that during his life, he'd always meditate and listen to his body
*the nurse told me to look over mama while she takes care of papa
-i took a walk on the boardwalk today and got an idea to write some lyrics about all this

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Staying On Meditation:
-as i take a walk on the boardwalk and glance at the ocean
i think about my lifelong best friend
reminiscing on all the time well spent
james brown sang about how papa don't take no mess
and that represents gracia to the fullest
in french i always tell him "papa je t'aime"
6 years of french class tutoring
before we go to bed we always say "bon nuit"
even on the days when things aren't so sweet
the bond we got was there even when we disagree
the generational gap got bridged constantly
word to will smith "just the two of us", you and me
on that note no matter what happens we won't go in defeat
like eddie and gerald levert, gracia sr. and jr. are the wind beneath the wings
it hurts family and friends that you have this terrible disease
you've come a long way from the days you spent over in haiti
and you always worked hard to make a living for your family
so now as them nurses and doctors take care of you
all of us are doing our best to remain cool
like luther sang in "dance with my father" through this i pray for my mama even more than me
you taught me to always thank god for another day whether it's pouring
or it's nice and sunny
and as the tears come down pouring
in my heart i know the lessons will build for sure again
i know no matter what happens with this dementia you won't ever forget
that nothing will come between us as best friends
i'll always remember to mind my own business
to say my grace before i eat my breakfast
and that i should take nothing for granted
you paved a foundation that i'll always cherish

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