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PRAYER AND SUPPORT CIRCLE


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It's amazing how things can go from bad to worse to even worse. At this point I'm so numb that i barely feel anything. The only thing that feels okay is that i didn't do anything to bring on this rain. Thanx for the continued prayers. At this point i don't even know what i want...other than prayer on the matter.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I just wanted everyone 2 know that i'm still around. Life is just tough, every day, every second. Some prayers have been answers, some good things have happened. Unfortunately they are small compared 2 the deliverence that i'm hoping for which doesn't look possible in the natural. I just pray that things turn around and I'm hoping those of u with faith continue 2 do the same. Thanx.

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  • 1 month later...

It's been over a month, let me share a few updates. Her lifestyle choices are still crappy. She's still shaking off blame and pretending she's not a crappy version of herself. We still don't talk for the most part.

We ran in2 each other a few weeks ago and things were GOOD. She was flirting, taking pictures, smiling, laughing, etc. She then got jealous that me and one of our mutual friends were just talking. She took back all the positive things she said and made things look just as hopeless. A week later she called me because she saw something she HAD 2 buy me cuz she owed it 2 me. I was polite and told her i already had it (which i did). She had anger in her voice but a few days later, she got a present that i sent her in the mail. It was an incredibly rare and hard 2 find thing that she didn't even think existed. She called me at work in shock thanking me. She said she'd call me sometime. She didn't, which i kinda expected. We ended up being at the same restaurant the other day and even tho' she was with the guy she's been hanging around the most, it upset her that i was with a friend. She unblocked me on AIM for the 1st time in 2 months confirming that she was not dating and 2 see if i was. The convo went alright. Step by step, baby.

In other news, i got ALOT of bad news for my job. My passion is low and i'm starting 2 get sick of how badly i'm being treated there. The economy may look crappy, but i think i'm gonna have 2 look around.

I also look at all of my friends. So many of them are dealing with health issues, job issues, love life issues. The world all around me seems so awful. I feel good things are in the future. I know it.

Let me sow a seed tho.' I know i'm not the only dealing with stuff right now. No matter how big or small your ordeal, let me know what it is so i can pray on it for u.

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  • 3 weeks later...

That's great to hear AJ, it's true that good things come to those who wait

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Let me share this...

Things have been tough at work. I have a very VERY VERY difficult person that i have 2 work for. I've been dealing with him for a awhile. I get written up often for stupid stuff. Well, none of that is washed away but i've had an amazing amount of business in the past 3 weeks that has cancelled out the lack that we've had over the last 3 months. We were THOUSANDS of dollars down all year. All that cancelled out. We are making plan for the year. To make up that much money in such a short time is NOTHING short of a miracle.

Also, the problems i've been greatly suffering from with the special person who has been in my life that last few years who has changed up their lifestyle for the worse and totally abandoned me is coming back around. She's been contacting me and we hung out the other night. More phone calls, texts, and online conversations have followed. She came in 2 visit me the following day. And last night (the next day), we hung out for the 1st time since November. We went out to a local indi-movie premier that had some of our friends in it which was a formal event. The evening followed with dinner and a long drive. Over the last few days she has talked 2 me alot. Some of the conversations we've had have been a lil' difficult but she's saying and showing plenty that she's gonna wanna give this a real shot in the future.

Life isn't perfect, but it's much better than then as it has been. There's still other issues in my life and work 2 be done, but alot of things related 2 the stuff i've shared here is truely turning around. Thank u for those who have prayed for me and thank u 2 those who continue 2 do so. And those of u who are my friend on Myspace or Facebook, u can see a pic of us from that night in my 2009 albums. Please don't comment it tho'...ha ha...i don't want any more attention on it then there might be from out mutual friends. As far as she is concerned, i'm in the middle and figuring my own stuff out. If she knows i wanna be with her now, it'll only complicate things.

PRAISE GOD!!

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  • 1 month later...

Ugh...am i the only one dealing with struggles this year?

Anyway, as this year continues, more stuff has stayed the same and my situation with this girl has gotten worse...for no rational reason. Part of me is just demoralized about the whole thing. Part of me isn't that worried because I feel it's all gonna work out soon enough anyway. I gotta be real, there is not a single suicidal bone in my body, but I honestly thing 2 myself everyday that i really don't care if i die. Better dayz are coming....better dayz are coming...

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Better days are coming dude. Listen to the song Better Days by TQ its a classic that might help you through this.

I am trying to stay positive through a tough time just knowing that time is a great healer.

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Sometimes it is...sometimes it is only cuz things get better thru' actions that could have taken place much earlier so people didn't have 2 say time heals all...ha ha. The weird thing is, tho' i find peace in the promise that is in my heart, i still can't sleep. My whole body is tensed up and after 2 hours of sleep, i just lay in bed and get back back 2 sleep. I don't like 2 take medication. If things continue this way i may consider it.

Other issues in life still weigh me down. My grandparents are having health issues. My dad got laid off from his job again.

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