Guest Prince Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 (edited) Feedback welcome... Edit: You might recognise some parts of the second verse, thats because I took some of it from an older song that I did last year. ----- 04. Transparent [12th September 2004] The dark night, closing in rapidly as the sunlight dies // The world lacking light, falls silent as the moon comes to arise // Abandoned to dark, lightening adds to the constant falling rain // Brings terror but leaves no mark, and does nothing to erase my pain // Building pressures of life and social security, yet you still don't answer me // People rally around trying to banish me, but to my lyrics I bring clarity // Who am I buy a Scottish emcee, providing life support for a dying industry // Trying to diminish me, but y'all know it'll take much more to finish me // I may have lost the fight, but it was fought on an unlevel playing field // But I know that if I do right, the end of the war will eventually be revealed // Victory of the long-term battle isn't tossed, though I'm walking upon lands lost // I know I'll pull through to hold the dominant post, no matter toil nor cost // In view of the worlds greatness, in the mirror I gaze upon my insignificance // Overwhelmed by people that bring fakeness, I realise life is a feat of magnificence // Why allow someone else to let you throw that astray, and every night I pray // That one day, society and the world and things will be a very different way... // [Chorus] I don't want you to come to me and console, I've broken free of your control, I'm out of the strife, you're out of my life, and I don't need you any more... The rain falls steadily, forming puddles but then draining away // Disappearing readily, like visions there once but gone the next day // Draining away like my sanity, I think I'm a nobody I'm losing morality // I hear words intended to shatter me, but I act asif it doesn't matter to me // Overwhelming stress and anxiety, flattens my voice almost to monotony // Now your words almost flatter me, but I need to get back to reality // You're trying my patience with persistence, so keep your distance // If you're omniscient, you will know it's useless to attempt resistence // Three years of betrayal I suffered from you, being thoughtlessly disloyal // Three years I was tormented not knowing what to do, being heavily embroiled // We were close once but now that's gone, between us a rift grows strong // My way of coping through song, I aim to find out why you did me wrong // A mind filled with growing doubt, I find myself wanting an easy way out // You can scream and shout, but its obvious that you I'm better without // I tried talking to you once but my questions you continue to evade // The truth is I got tired of you and your continuous masquerade… // [Chorus] Rain lashes ceaselessly outside, I'm left alone with my mind // I have nowhere to hide, there is nobody else in which to confide // All availiable options are drained, how many more emotions can you feign // You can remove the frame, but the image inside remains the same // The memories are still taunting me, and the feelings remain haunting me // My mind plays havoc dauntingly, and it shows it's emotions accordingly // Now as past warnings ring true, I'm left cold and lonely unsure of what to do // Past happiness I'm unable to renew, and the memories I eternally rue // It messed me around, leaving me confused and with walls to pound // I never realised the truth I'd found, and you only kept me on the ground // My mind is transparent, yet my struggles aren't immediately apparent // I'm never usually the declarant, but I'm honest when I say that society is errant // I took this game by stealth, but against fakes I don't have the power to stop it // Yeah money brings wealth, but your heart will never gain in profit // Takes a great person to endure this, but I speak my mind in the hope that y'all feel this // Not harsh I'm a realist, locked in this game because hip-hop needs a purist... // [Chorus, repeat second line] copyright 2004 Edited September 12, 2004 by Prince Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimmie Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 [color=purple]"Three years of betrayal I suffered from you, being thoughtlessly disloyal // Three years I was tormented not knowing what to do, being heavily embroiled // We were close once but now that's gone, between us a rift grows strong // My way of coping through song, I aim to find out why you did me wrong // A mind filled with growing doubt, I find myself wanting an easy way out // You can scream and shout, but its obvious that you I'm better without // I tried talking to you once but my questions you continue to evade // The truth is I got tired of you and your continuous masquerade… //" <3<3<3 :clap: and i love the last verse [/color] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Prince Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 Thanks :happysad: Other feedback welcome... FuQ, Jim, Joe, Brakes, Tim, G, W3... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3cookies Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 [font="Arial"][color=blue]That was beautiful stanka... Written with clarity and reason... I do remember this part too, back when the two of us were writing together... [quote]The rain falls steadily, forming puddles but then draining away // Disappearing readily, like visions there once but gone the next day //[/quote] Its good that you recognize when you can write with emotion, versus not really 'feelin' it, because your full creativity is usually released when ur feeliN your flow as you connect with ur innermost sensitivity to the subject.... keep it up!... :thumb: peace, 3cookies[/color][/font] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigted Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 I'm feeling that song, you got a lot of talent, you write with a lot of emotion and have a unique writing style, keep it up! :clap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildWildWillennium Posted September 13, 2004 Report Share Posted September 13, 2004 I felt the emotion with that one, very well written man. Every verse is powerful with lots of emotion, I enjoyed reading it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted September 13, 2004 Report Share Posted September 13, 2004 Absolutely great flow. Wordplay was str8 power of emotion. U'd really make your listeners think. 4 some reason, that title seems familar. But anyway. All the way round amazing song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Brakes Posted September 13, 2004 Report Share Posted September 13, 2004 Excellent man!! Love the structure, subject matter, flow! A different type of rhyme style as well! A lot more complex than most people!! Keep it up man! Waitin to hear those audios!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzy Julie Posted September 13, 2004 Report Share Posted September 13, 2004 its great, i cant think of any ways in which it needs improving. i would love to hear this as audio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fan 4ever Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 I think it's dope, really! You always impress me with your rhymes..keep em coming!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Prince Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 Thanks for your opinions guys! More lyrics will be on the way :thumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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