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bigted

my most personal song i ever written "remaining on the grind"

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hey JJFP.com fam, out of all my songs I really feel that I dug deep with this one, now i've been dealing with my mental illness of bipolar since march of 2007 right around the time i was hospitalised for a staph infection, then 5 years later in 2012 my father was diagnosed with dementia and was put away in a nursing home, i lost my job working at the beach in seaside heights went back to the hospital in summer of 2012 after a nervous breakdown, then hurricane sandy in fall of 12 and me and my mom moved to whiting nj so needless to say i've been through some dark moments over the last decade but through it all i've kept a peace of mind... Now things have been getting better for me since, i graduated my online college course in june, i'm doing online gigs, reconnected with some high school friends, and i put out my first album on youtube last winter of 2015, search "GM3485 Starting Over Album" on youtube and you'll find it there, this song along with other songs i'm currently writing will be on my second album "open book" digging deep with life issues going on in society today, i'm working on getting a new laptop so that the recordings will be more crystal clear, now i know that this forum doesn't get as much recognition as it did back when "lost & found" was out but i've stayed loyal and i'm hoping the loyalty pays off, if will or jeff come to the board i'd appreciate it if they read this thread and know that their music has gotten me through so much dark times and has inspired me to do my thing, god bless JJFP forever! well without further ado here's the lyrics and btw also check out "war of the mind" by flame who's a gospel rapper that made a song about overcoming mental illness:

 

this song is a dedication
for anyone that has to overcome struggle
know you're not alone
like that michael jackson song
after struggle brighter days come along
remember there's always a purpose
peep my story
 
being 31 i've been able to overcome the pain
and i've seen some dark days
i'm able to roll strong day by day
for 16 years i've been putting out lyrical flames
it's been the war of the minds like the song by flame
i still might not have the fame
or a million people knowing my name
but i have something worth far greater
i'm able to have a peace of mind in the brain
i don't always admit that i've been dealing with
the opposition of my mental illness
in 2007 i wasn't able to sleep much after my staph infection
that left me with my liver and kidneys shutting
it was a near death experience
the emotional toll i then dealt with put a weight on fam and friends
i found out who my real peeps were
when my life was going in a blur
i was starting to question my life's worth
until i ran into a woman who worked
at the st barnabas building
who told me that i'm never alone and we all have a purpose
to this day those words are instilled
even though i don't remember her name i'm thankful
the foundation is built around the right people
along the way and i know i'm being watched by the guardian angels
since my beliefs of life are known as spiritual
i know we all could believe what we want to
but to me god is real or i wouldn't be living
he's helped me along the way of my troubles since
i know the demons are about to be defeated
never give up or give in when you have a dream
 
remaining on the grind
picking up the slack
on the days i lack
remaining on the grind
better moments are coming
time for some better loving
the drama is what i'm overcoming
remaining on the grind

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i added another verse to the song to further explain:

i usually don't relay much of my personal story like this
but in 2016 life has turned where many are hurting
believe me y'all i've dealt with that burden
as a 31 year old millennial representative
i've gained knowledge from past generations
you could say my mental illness is hereditary
cause my papa is living with dementia currently
so i basically hold on to the memories
and i'll pray he'll always be at peace
he's overcome a lot coming to america from haiti
life was different back in the early 1970s
back when my parents were first dating
interracial relationships weren't really in swing
there's more now but there's still discrimination
love should be love no matter what image
since real love is felt in your spirit
on this record i'm coming with a clear vision
i'll never forget the moment in 2003 when i was a high school senior
and i came home feeling all down after a conflict
i was on the phone talking to my friend
i was feeling all upset and ticked
"does anybody care about me?" was what i said
i thought papa was taking a nap
but he woke up and said
"son i care and so does your mama and god, don't ever say those words again"
those words reached my spirit
and from that moment on i didn't question
the love foundation in my life leaves me blessed
and i'm determined to beat all obstacles and my mental illness

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This is a very nice and deep lyric man

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