Follow the right way

[Luigie]

here's a rhyme i did yesterday at school, i was gettin sleeppy, and the inspiration came to my mind. I dont know to rhyme in english very good the idea was in spanish, but i adapted it, of course u'll find some BIG errors, plz correct me.

Yo! Check this damn song which i composed wit love

I’m gonna take the microphone and sing like old times at home

All day I walk the streets, watchin ppl takin sh*t

Drugs everywhere, nobody cares bout the beat.

I’m a boy just like you, but I don’t act like a fool

I walk wit my friends and you got your goddamn crew

You think you got style, but your manners are whack

That really sucks, I think you deserve a big slap.

Instead of stealin money 4 ur crap called weed

Or maybe kickin asses after drinkin beer

Start to learn good manners my lil’ kid

It’s good 4 u believe me instead of sayin sh*t.

Now u know wat to do, u aint lost

Transform ur heart and start the “defrost”

Let all the ppl see that u got really good props

Forget bout practicing those karate chops.

To everybody who read this simple song

I think u learned how not to act like a king kong

Start doin and telling everybody wat I said

And you’ll see that u wont need first-aid

Now very happy and educated go to ur home

Do the right things and give a kiss to ur mom.

(Big Luigie)

[kbfprince]

Well nice rhyme. Most of the lines don't rhyme tho for example, at the end

'Start doin and telling everybody wat I said

And you’ll see that u wont need first-aid

Now very happy and educated go to ur home

Do the right things and give a kiss to ur mom.'

said doesn't rhyme wit aid unless its pronounced "sade" and home doesn't rhyme wit mom.

First 6 lines of the first and the first 4 of the 2nd verse don't rhyme also.

But if it was adapted from Spanish just try and make it rhyme somehow change the words. Nice start!

[Luigie]

thanks man! i'll keep it in my mind...I need to add some words to my vocabulary, i dont practice english very much cause here in my country my ppl say i'm mad wit hip-hop, they say that's crap, well they dont know :lolsign: