Report Where you at? in Caught in the Middle Posted April 25, 2007 My story... My life is really messed up due to school and some other things. My first and second quarter grades were ok, but my grades really plummeted during 3rd quarter. I went from a 3.5 average to a 2.7. My parents weren't too happy with that. The reason my grades are low is cuz I got so much homework and essays and projects all at the end of the quarter and I couldn't do it all, and go to work (even only working weekends) and get enough sleep at night too. It drove me insase. I did my best to get as much as I could and basically my mom told me I wasn't good enough for her and she doesn't think I tried hard enough. I constantly fight with my mom now. I got my phone taken away and I have to buy my own in the summer. The only really good thing I have in my life right now is my boyfriend. He's the only one I can talk to without being told "You are so over dramatic. You are putting all this stress on yourself. You complain too much. Grades are not that big of a deal." That what my own best friends were telling me. But now they're not my best friends anymore because I'm too "emo" for them. I thought I could tell them things and have them try to help me out, but apparently I was wrong. I'm working my ass off to get my grades up cuz I wanna graduate with good grades and work after high school and go to college and make something of my life. I don't want to be the way my former best friends are now. They never do they're homework and they get crappy grades and they're gonna be bums when they graduate, that is, if they don't drop out first. I'm just getting stress and pressure thrown at me from everybody and everywhere. Everyone expects more of me than I can give and people tell me, to my face, that I'm just not good enough for them. All I'm trying to do is put the pieces of my life back together and be happy. I feel like I'm just going in circles, I'll fight with my mom and then we'll negotiate something, and then if something else goes wrong or if one of my grades drops slightly for some reason, it's another fight, more brutal every time. I'm getting really sick of trying to impress everyone around me, especially in school. I regret signing up for some of the classes I have right now cuz I really hate them, but now I have no other choice but to get perfect grades for them or else my life will just get worse than it already is. I'm sick of working my ass off to try and make everyone happy when I feel like it's not worth it in the end for me. I always tell myself things will get better, but this whole cycle of fights and stress and depression and anxiety keep coming back around. I don't know if it's worth it to even try anymore, I'm so lost. All I want to do is be done with high school and move out and move on with my life. So much drama and chaos... I can't deal with it anymore. I'm sick of it all. So that would explain my absence... I've just been trying to put my life back together and make something out of it... that's all I have to say.