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*Anniversary*


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Anniversary

by Gary Anderson

As I walk along the beach near my rented bungalow, the moon illuminates my immediate surroundings. In the distance I can see her approaching me. I don't know that it is her yet, all I see is the exotic red and blue dress. I recognize the dress as one I saw once in an old brochure on Russian culture. She seemingly glides towards me, leaving no prints in the sand. I stop walking and stare at her. The beauty that she possesses, is apparent as the moon casts light across her face.

Soon we are face to face, and I notice then, that I am trembling. I find myself intimidated by her presence. I look down at the sand, and she then reaches out and takes my chin in her hand, raising my head up. I look into her eyes, and feel a calm come over me. She smiles, and then her hand moves up and wipes a tear from my cheek, that I don't even know is there.

She leans closer to me, and kisses me softly on the cheek. I close my eyes as her lips touch my skin. When I open my eyes I am alone again. I turn around and see nothing. My breathing becomes heavy and labored Looking down, I notice that in front of me, leading to my bungalow are a fresh set of footprints, but when I look behind me, there are only my own. I sit down on the sand, as I try to wrap my head around what just happened. It isn't you, it can't be you. But it is. You have returned to me, one year later, just as I always dreamed you would. As I sit on the sand, I stare at the newly created footprints heading to my bungalow. It is impossible, but it is true.

You have returned.

Once I arrive at my doorstep, I stand there, hesitating to go in. Closing my eyes I turn the door knob, swinging the door open, to reveal the silhouette of your naked form, moving across my bedroom, twenty feet away from where I stand. I swallow hard as I shut the door. I remove my sweater, and hang it on the hook beside the door.

"Come in here, darling." I heard.

I enter my room, and see her laying on the bed, the moonlight casting over her body.

"I've been waiting for you." She whispers.

I stand in the doorway, not sure what to do or to say. She sits up, peering at me. As I looked into her eyes, I am suddenly reliving the crash. The car running off the road as we made our way from our wedding, mere hours before. The tears that fell at the wreckage as she died in my arms, as well as the tears that have fallen all year since. The depression, the failed suicide attempt, and the seven months of therapy. I absorbed a years worth of pain and anguish in a single blink of an eye.

"Honey?"

I walk over and sit down beside her. Her hands find my neck, as she rubs my skin with her gentle touch.

"I'm here for you baby. Just like we had always wanted. Better late than never, as they always say, right?"

I close my eyes and shake my head.

"I can't." I whisper.

She stops, and rests her chin on my shoulder.

"Why not?"

I feel tears sliding down my cheeks. I close my eyes, hoping to stem the flow.

"Because...because," I stammer.

She wraps her arms around me and begins to nibble on my earlobe.

"Why?" she cooed.

"Because this isn't real."

She continues to kiss me.

"Reality is a state of mind, love."

I shake my head slowly. pulling away from her.

"You're not real. No matter how real I want you to be, you'll never be real."

She climbs off of me, and moves over to the head of the bed, her back against the headboard, and stares at me. I can't look at her.

"We never got to express our love for each other. We never consummated our marriage. We were cheated."

I put my head in my hands. "I'm sorry."

I stand up and walk out of the room, away from what I had dreamt of for the past twelve months. Away from the only woman I had ever truly loved.

I stop at the door and turn back to look at her. She slowly pulls the cover up to her neck, covering herself. As I shut the door behind me, cool air sweeps over me. I can hear her crying, as the door clicks shut. A sound I'd become accustomed to since the crash. Her cries had become embedded in my brain. They still haunt me to this day.

The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed, alone. I sit up and looked around. The window is open and the air is cool on my sweat covered forehead. I look out the window, almost expecting to see my bride, twirling in her red and blue dress. Although I knew she wouldn't be there, I nevertheless, found myself saddened.

I lay back down and close my eyes, awaiting sleep to come for me.

"Happy Anniversary, love." I whispered.

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