JumpinJack AJ Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 This is one of those crazy topics. I know a few people here don't like 2 get 2 personal, which is cool. But we all know that love makes the world go 'round. So this topic is 4 those who wanna share their experiences, lessons, opinions, and stories all about love. I've had a crazy last 2 years of my life and i'm finally at a very free and open place in life right now. So i'm just gonna put it out there 4 y'all (the good, the bad, and the ugly). I'm sure a few of u have some stuff u can share. I know 3Cookies dose...ha ha. Hold on y'all...this could be a bumpy ride. 1997 - 1998 - I'm 17/18 and i'm a senior in high skool. Of course i had other "girlfriends," but about 18 is where things start getting very real...so this is where i'm starting from. I started seriously talking 2 this girl that i had known since we were 12. With us being 18 and it being our senior year, it seems like alot of things were falling in2 place. This girl had liked me for the past few years and i waz finally at a place where i waz interested. As i came around, her interested decreased a lil.' I had 2 play games for 5 months or so, but then we finally started going out. However, after a few months, i started hearing how she waz trying 2 talk 2 another guy...which really stung. Then in May, we went 2 prom. The night waz kinda average but it seemed like things were turning around 4 the better. However, 2 days later, she just dumped me outta no where, which waz also 2 days b4 my 18th b-day. I waz devistated. We remained friends but their waz tons of tension. We were still in high skool so it waz a very public thing. She did something that really upset me and i called her out on it. We stopped talking the week of our graduation. There we were, friends of 7 years, and here we are not speaking at graduation. It waz awful. Summer started and i met another girl (which is the one i'm talking about in the next paragraph). At about the same time, my ex started calling again, apologizing and everything. There waz hope 4 us but i stayed focused on the new girl. When fall came around, she took a college class just 2 be around me, and she out of jealousy, she started seeing another guy 2 get back at me. She stayed with that guy for like 4 or 5 years. That guys waz crazy and she wazn't allowed 2 have a life. Me and her still talk from time 2 time, but she hasn't changed 4 the better, and even tho' we kissed a few months ago, i just KNEW once and 4 all 2 leave it alone. But at least we are still cool after all we had been thru.' But from that relationship, i kinda had this attitude that u can't trust anyone and that u can't rearrange your life 4 somebody cuz they can play u 4 the longest time without u knowing it. 1998 - 2000 I met this new girl. After seeing this preppy rich girl 4 so long, i felt like i needed 2 go back home. So i got a ghetto girl. She appreciated where i waz coming from and thought i waz the greatest thing ever. This girl had a kid (something i thought i'd never try). He waz just turning 2 around the time. Things were great at 1st. However, after awhile, i started seeing how jealous she waz of my friends that were girls. She would get so mad about nothing. She occasionally talked 2 her ex's, which waz cool with me...reguardless of the trust issues i had from the past relationship. In the winter of 1999/2000, this girl turned my life upside down. We went thru' this awful ordeal where she didn't believe i word i said and believed every single word her ex waz telling her...and that guy waz some whitetrash guy who lived a nasty lifestyle. Anyways, i didn't think all this waz that big of a deal, but one January day, the drama go so crazy, she called me and said "would u hate me if i slept with ________." First off, who actually says that?! Anyways, my heart waz shattered, i couldn't believe things went down that way. Needless 2 say i broke up with her on the phone right there. However, with her kid in mind, i stuck around. Things kinda stayed the same, as if we didn't break up. I told her "I'ma do whatever i do, and if things fall in2 place, we'll give it another try." I thru' myself in2 my work. I did as many shows as i could. I neglected her really bad. As winter 2000 rolled around, i started wanting 2 take her back. At the same time, she got fed up with my being around then not being around. So she started talking 2 another guy. I found all of this out the hard way. This lead 2 alot of lies, fights, and nearly a few physical fights. Keep in mind i waz 'hood mode at the time. I waz ready 2 throw down with this new guy. Eventually, i got so fed up with her, i boldly let her know i waz done with her the day after Christmas. I got in2 a fight with her on the phone, and as her and her co-workers were walking our the front door, i rolled in2 the parking lot (the timing couldn't have been better), i had LL Cool J "Back Where I Belong" blasting, and threw all of her stuff out the window and all over her car. They all just stood there like "oh lawd, what's gonna happen next?" I peeled out of the parking lot, and from that moment on, life got better, even tho' it hurt. She isn't the kinda ex that u can talk 2 afterwards. She never called or anything. However, when i heard she got surgery back in 2001, i showed up at her place with all kinds of stuff 4 her and her son. She just recently had a new baby and is going 2 be married. While i dont' know how she has changed, i believe she is where she is supposed 2 be in life and i'm very happy 4 her. I ran in2 her about 4 months ago, and even tho' it would never work out, it waz amazing how that magic between us kinda sparked up again. From this relationship, i just had a more bitter look at trust and realized that if someone can't trust u for no reason, then they cant' be trusted. It also showed me how neglect can go on 4 so long, then outta no where, the female can snap and there's nothing u can do 2 fix it. I also learned that u gotta learn when 2 walk away, cuz when she cheated on me, i still stuck around and missed out on alot of oppertunities in love. 2000 - 2004 As things fell apart with the girl above, i met who i honestly believe is the most beautiful girl in the world. This girl waz flawless. Her supermodel looks are what got my attention, but it waz her angelic personality that i fell in love with. U simply can't find 2 many girls like this one. She waz so pure, so innocent, so nice, caring, etc. Both of us were just out of relationships, so she felt we shouldn't concentrate on getting 2gether. I stuck around and put in work about 9 months and finally, we were officially 2gether. I can't express how perfect things were. However, fast forward a few years. It's now 2003. I'm still acting with a kinda crappy job, in debt, and just comfortable in a lifestyle that really needed 2 be reworked. She just graduated from college and got her full time job which waz her career. She waz always about "the future" which i just didn't care about. Things started getting dry and i waz 2 stupid 2 see that it waz up 2 me 2 fix. At this same time, myself and a friend got casted in a rock and roll music review show. We had known each other for over a year and always had some chemistry between us. Now we were playing leads oppisite of each other....which lots of kissing scenes. My girlfriend waz working all the time and i waz spending time with this other girl who had a fiance serving in Iraq. Talk about a Jerry Springer episode in the works. As time when one, my girlfriend nagged and this other girl's fiance waz constantly reminding her thru' letters and phone calls that she just didn't wanna be with him. Our kisses and chemistry just led 2 a serious relationship...which started just emotionally, but led 2 more. Me and my girl are suffering and this other girl's fiance comes home. We were doing 2 shows and 2 different theaters 2gether, so all of our friends and co-stars know "something" waz going on, but could never see anything happening. Outta nowhere, this other girl, who wanted 2 be with me just turned away and said she waz marrying her boyfriend. I waz heartbroken and so confused. I wanted 2 play it cool and see where my heart led me but she just made that decision (from what i just recently heard waz basically a threat). I re-grouped my head and told my girl, who know "something" waz going on that i needed some space and that i didn't feel i could treat her the way she deserved 2 be treated...but we didn't break up. For about a year, i struggled with the girl i lost and how awful i felt about how i treated my girlfriend. I waz 24 and just so confused and beaten down by everything in life. Debt, love, career, skool, etc. A year after all the craziness. Me and my girlfriend had some serious talks, putting alot of things out there. I knew i waz hurting her and that now i could be the person i needed 2 be 2 sweep her off her feet and marry her. I wrote her this crazy letter and bought her this super expensive necklace 4 Christamas. When she opened it, her reaction waz less than what i expected, which killed me. 2 days later, she said we needed some space, which i respected. Next thing u know, she didn't answer her phone and her behavior changed. I did everything i could 2 get her back but it never worked. That's when i hit rock bottom. Since December, i looked at how my life spun outta control and that i wazn't the person i wanted 2 be. I desided that if i waz gonna be a champion, then i gotta live like one. I started working out, getting in shape, i got my career and money situation right, spiritually i'm stronger than ever, and my attitude on life and love has changed. Without all that mess, i'd never get over my heartaches of the past and move on 2 a better place in life. Since then, i finally got a taste of the single life. I don't need someone else 2 make me whole and i'm totally comfortable being by myself. I'd still give the world 2 get back my ex, but i'm open 2 what God has in store 4 me. I've tried talking 2 someone new, but my heart wouldn't let me go any further than that 1st kiss. Now i have 2 other friends who i could see things working out with, but lil' things keep getting in the way. So who knows what's next 4 me. Now i know what it takes 2 make a relationship work. U gotta give 100 percent all the time, cuz u never know when that other person dosen't wanna give their 50. U gotta pretend that your heart waz never hurt b4, cuz u can't punish the new person in your life 4 things the last person did. U gotta approach every day with an attitude that u are gonna do whatever it takes 2 make that person happy. U can't go 2 bed angry, cuz starting a new day with a bitter heart is a dangerous thing. I now know what it takes 2 be special enuff 2 be a part of my life that way, and when 2 stop something when it isn't on that level. Wow, now that's a freakin' long post...ha ha. I can't wait 2 hear what some of u have 2 share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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