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THEN THERE WAS HER BEST FRIEND


fabman

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I'm liking the whole story telling aspect of it. I think the rhyme scheme is very basic, where I could find it. I agree with Tim that I'd like to hear a version in your native tongue. That would be cool. But keep writing and keep showing us your work! :thumb:

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A NEW VERSION The lines @ the cinema and with tina aren’t finished yet but check my last 5 lines

“THEN THERE WAS HER BEST FRIEND”

Written by F. Froio

I’m tellin’ u a story you’ll never forget,

About girls and somethin’ like dis – U know!

So if you ready I’ll begin with the story

THAT’S THE BEGINNING

There was this hot girl, Sarah,

Hotter than my ex, Clara

And I used my charm to get what I want

I’ve said somethin’ like

“Do you wanna go with me girl?”

She laughed, looked at me

And then she said YES

So I thought great,

Next to that I invited her to a date

She answered with “Wait!

I’ll call u if I have time for going out”

But – wait – that’s only the beginnig

Later I heard my cellphone ringing

I said to her “What’s up, how are you?”

And suddenly she said her best friend Annette comes, too

And I screamed “Who?”

She said I have to relax

Cause we only have to bring her to her boyfriend

She gave me Annette’s adress

And so I went to the house idealess

When I arrived, I said “Hi, let’s go”

So we went to Annette’s boyfriend

And that was da beginnin’ of mine and Sarah’s end

That jerk wasn’t at home

I just thought: Damn, what the hell?

This date didn’t start very well

Sarah said to me: “Come on, darling see.”

And that’s she sad and is her best friend

Then my girl said to me

“Come on, I’m her best friend. We can’t leave her alone.

Tell me, does she have to go home?”

I said: “Why not she is old enough.

And where we live there isn’t much kidnapping or similiar stuff.”

Then she looked at me with her sweet eyes

More beatiful than every sunrise

I said “I do this only for you, Sarah”

So we three went to the cinema

We watched a movie about Croft... her first name was Lara.

I already watched it so You now, my friends

I didn’t go with the intention to watch the movie

In the theater I wanted to use the famous love arm

That is one important part of my charm

BUT THEN THERE WAS HER BEST FRIEND

Shoutin’ “hey come here”

I wanted to kiss her, my girl went there

And suddenly left me alone

I had to watch the movie

So with the time got mad and I shouted out loud

I wanna go wit’ U but only without her

So choose between me and Annette

Then this big guy said: SHUT UP, MAN!

I thought “What the hell, damn?”

THIS IS A THEATER I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE

I said to him “Relax man, be a lil’ more groovy”

Then he hit me! I kicked him...

So in this theater there was a big brawl

The police came, we were all bleedin’

I said to Sarah: “Goodbye, never wanna see You again”

Then I kicked the trash can, while I was goin’ away

She said “Why?”

Because of your best friend,

Because of her I didn’t kiss you

Because of her we couldn’t grab --- all over you!

Because of your damn friend, my nose is bleeding.

BECAUSE THERE WAS HER BEST FRIEND

Then I saw this hot chick,

Shakin’ with her ass, I went to her

I said hi, my name Fab,

What’s ya name, girl

Her name was Tina

I asked if she wanted to go out with me

She said “Yeah, why not, you’re cute”

See you tommorrow?

WAIT! Tina... Only one question!

Do you have a best friend you wanna go out tommorrow with?

No... Perfect, see then Tina...

Yo! Felles are You hearin’

And now I’m swearin’

Never go out with Your Girl and her Best Friend

‘Cause that’s the end

I hope You Understand

© 2005 T H E F A B M A N

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I like your storyline and how it's based on a truel story. For some reason it sounded like "Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble" maybe it's just me but ya. Just need to improve with some rhymes and perhaps sentence fluency. Good trying tho! 2.5/5

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Thats more like it!!! :thumb:

:werd: I give it a 4/5 now, it's clearer to understand now, 'nuff props for being bilingual too, I know a lot of French from takin' 6 years of it in high school but it ain't that easy for me to write a rhyme in French it's hard for me to do that and have it make sense, I give you credit to do that. :thumb:

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Hi y'all,

here is the FINAL VERSION of "Then There Was Her Best Friend". The new and shorter title is "Her Best Friend". Joe helped alot with the rhymes. I'll post my new song "Rock Da Mic" soon !

Her Best Friend

Written by F. Froio. Co-written by Joe

1st verse

There was this hot girl susan

Hotter than my ex, clara it was an illusion

And I used my charm to get what I wanted

I’ve said somethin’ like "You've Never Flaunted"

She laughed, looked at me, i looked at her dress

And then she said YES, i wanted to tell the press

So I thought great, Next to that I invited her to a date

She answered with “Wait!

I’ll call u if I have time for going out”

i responded,

damn girl dont have to shout

2nd verse

But – wait – that’s only the beginnig

Later I heard my cellphone ringing

I said to her “What’s up, how are you?”

And suddenly she said her best friend Annette comes, too

And I screamed “Who's Annette? ?”

She said I have to relax, i went "ok" it cant be a threat

Cause we only have to bring her to her boyfriend

She gave me Annette’s address, so fellas the message i send

Dont fool around wit a girl who wants to play cat and mouse

so i did what i asked, And so I went to the house

When I arrived, I said “Hey you Annette?"

i saw candles, i see the tone had been set

So we went to Annette’s boyfriend

And that was da beginnin’ of mine and Sarah’s end

That jerk wasn’t at home

i wondered if we could leave annete all alone

I just thought: Damn, what the hell?

This date didn’t start very well

Sarah said to me: “Come on, darling see.”

Then my girl said to me

“Come on, I’m her best friend. We can’t leave her alone.

Tell me, does she have to go home?”

I said: “Why not she is old enough.

And where we live there isn’t much kidnapping or similiar stuff.”

Then she looked at me with her sweet eyes

More beatiful than every sunrise

I said “I do this only for you, susan

3rd

So we three went to the cinema the film was called "Dissulioned

We watched a movie about Croft... her first name was Lara.

I already watched it so i wanted to get my freak on like my ex clara

I didn’t go with the intention to watch the movie

In the theater I wanted to use the famous love arm and she would think what a smoothie

all i wanted to do is show her my charm

hopefully she would know ill never let her get harmed

BUT THEN THERE WAS HER BEST FRIEND

Shoutin’ “hey come here”

I wanted to kiss her, my girl went there

And suddenly left me alone, i wanted to go home

I had to watch the film without the girls, i felt fouled

So with the time got mad and I shouted out loud

I wanna go wit’ U but only without her, shes got a bet!!

So choose between me and Annette

Suddenly there was this big man known as Big Red

“THIS IS A THEATER, I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE”

I said “sit back, relax, be a lil’ more groovy”

Then he came and hit me,

what happened then i didn’t really see.

Cause there was this big brawl.

The police came very very fast,

they picked the people up from da 1st till da last.

Then I kicked the trash can, while I was goin’ away

She said “Why?” coz i cant stand to stay away

Because of your best friend, the rules i bend

Because of her I didn’t kiss you, i dont mean to diss u

Because of her we couldn’t grab --- all over you!

Because of your damn friend, my nose is bleeding

and baby, thats the reason im leaving

BECAUSE THERE WAS HER BEST FRIEND

4th verse

Then I saw this hot chick,

shaking her thing, i said "wanna catch a flick?"

my name is fab, whats yours?

Her name was Tina it was the laws

I asked if we could link and then she played the flute

She said “Yeah, why not, you’re cute”

See you tommorrow?

hopefully her best friend wont come to give us sorrow

so i asked

WAIT! Tina... Only one question!

Do you have a best friend you wanna go out tommorrow with?

No... Perfect, see then Tina...

Yo! Felles are You hearin’

And now I’m swearin’

Never go out with Your Girl and her Best Friend

‘Cause that’s the end

I hope You Understand

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  • 2 weeks later...

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