Carlton Banks drops Tom Jones

[Ale]

Carlton Banks, cousin of the Fresh Prince, has confirmed rumors that he will no longer dance to Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual."

At a press conference outside of his parent's Bel-Air mansion, Banks approached the podium in a steadfast manner. Standing at a bite-sized 5'6", for which his cousin has slighted him on numerous occasions, Banks said with absolute disgust that Jones and he "…will never dance to the same beat again. Done! Jones can't stand by what he proclaims."

Asked what Banks meant by this, he responded "He changed EVERYTIME!"

This statement left thousands gathered outside the mansion perplexed because Banks never provided a reason for his decision. While some wondered what the impetus was, others could be heard crying at the foot of the podium.

To break the silence standard and familiar to inconceivable surprises, one bold reporter whimpered, "But Carlton, what will you dance to now?"

Banks admitting that he felt his affinity for Jones' "It's Not Unusual" was unrequited by the songwriter, proceeded to look the reporter dead square in the eye revealing, "I'll never dance again."

Immediately after this statement, a fan close to the podium claimed he overheard Banks say underneath his breath "Oh, I wanna die…" in a somber tone. For those not aware, this is the fifth line of Jones' hit song. The press wondered about this contradiction, but decided it was best not to investigate.

Needless to say, the dismal and disheartened crowd quickly changed its face to a rambunctious one. As soon as Banks finished his emphatic speech, Unusual Jones Radicals (UJR) rushed the podium screaming the words to "It's Not Unusual."

In an unsuccessful attempt to calm the crowd, Judge Phillip Banks could be heard bellowing, "Order! Order!"

http://www.chicagoflame.com/news/carlton-banks-drops-tom-jones-1.2126501