JumpinJack AJ Posted February 24, 2007 Report Share Posted February 24, 2007 Ha ha...i have a real problems with guys who get girls way out of their league. When i see intellegent, pretty, sweet, good girls with idiotic guys...i get so frustrated. There's this one girl i really like and she's talking 2 some guy who smokes and drinks 2 much. He immature, jealous, and he's got this huge beer guy. All of our mutual friends thought we'd be hooking up awhile ago (other than me not letting her know how i feel) and i'm not the only one who's like "what r u doing?!" That's how things go tho.' I can't say i'm sweating it 2 much. It's just a matter of time til that falls apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnazz Posted February 24, 2007 Report Share Posted February 24, 2007 Yeah, comedy works for those of us who are naturally funny. No problem with self-confidence there... :lolsign: There's no such thing as leagues, it's just about compatibility. I don't know about why girls do it, but guys go after bad girls as well. When I've done that it was for a variety of reasons: try out a different life style, wanting to be vicariously one of the "cool kids", or even that the girl and I clicked on a lot of other things out side of the "bad" girl vs. "good" girl scheme of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpinJack AJ Posted February 24, 2007 Report Share Posted February 24, 2007 I can't agree. People are different, but attitude, mindstates, and life choices create those "leagues." That doesn't mean i think some people are better than others...but i think attitude, mindstate, and life choices show who's a good person and who's not so good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnazz Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 I can't agree. People are different, but attitude, mindstates, and life choices create those "leagues." That doesn't mean i think some people are better than others...but i think attitude, mindstate, and life choices show who's a good person and who's not so good. You may want to reconsider what you're saying. These two sentences completely contradict each other: "That doesn't mean i think some people are better than others" and "who's a good person and who's not so good" If one person is "good" and another is "not so good" then by definition one person is "better" than the other. The concept of "out of your league" clearly means there is a pecking order in the dating scene. This would mean that someone is a better catch than another. That linear thinking is completely false. People are such complex beings that any handful of traits are bound to be a limited view of a person as well as biased towards ones personality. Not you nor anyone is qualified to judge who should love who. Where you see immature, she may see fun loving. Where you see someone who's jealous, she may like to feel obsessed over. Perhaps she doesn't care that he drinks too much because he's a happy drunk and takes care of her other needs. Or it may be some other random thing. If you define the league dividing line between people with good attitudes and people with bad attitudes, that would mean that the person with a horrid attitude could never date the person with a great attitude. That's just not true, there are plenty of people out there with great attitudes that don't care about their mates attitude. This applies to any way you try to define leagues. Many people will not want to date certain other people. Many people aren't good matches for other people. But no one is out of any one else's league, there are no leagues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzy Julie Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 but when it comes down to looks there are leagues. i know for a fact im attracted to guys out of my league, probably why im single lol. But u just wouldnt see ugly betty dating brad pitt, no matter how nice a person she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 I find this whole topic hilarous, for the guys who want a good girl, it's all about approach, you need to be confident while trying to attract a female, there's no point thinking that there out of your league because if you think that then that's your first mistake, if you go up to a girl, stutter or mis say things u didnt want to say, it wont get u far, do what I do, I approach a girl and talk to her as a normal person, she could look like halle and have a behind like J-lo but i'll still talk to them like they we're ugly betty, I don't treat no other girl differently because of there looks, I think thats immature, the same goes to girls, even though I dont know alot of girls who chase the guys, because they think that it's the man thing to do :lolsign: and when it comes to looks that is just shallow. nobody wants somebody who keeps saying he's ugly or shes ugly, I know I might speak for a few people when I just simply say I want a nice girl on the inside...have a nice day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpinJack AJ Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 I can't agree. People are different, but attitude, mindstates, and life choices create those "leagues." That doesn't mean i think some people are better than others...but i think attitude, mindstate, and life choices show who's a good person and who's not so good. You may want to reconsider what you're saying. These two sentences completely contradict each other: "That doesn't mean i think some people are better than others" and "who's a good person and who's not so good" If one person is "good" and another is "not so good" then by definition one person is "better" than the other. The concept of "out of your league" clearly means there is a pecking order in the dating scene. This would mean that someone is a better catch than another. That linear thinking is completely false. People are such complex beings that any handful of traits are bound to be a limited view of a person as well as biased towards ones personality. Not you nor anyone is qualified to judge who should love who. Where you see immature, she may see fun loving. Where you see someone who's jealous, she may like to feel obsessed over. Perhaps she doesn't care that he drinks too much because he's a happy drunk and takes care of her other needs. Or it may be some other random thing. If you define the league dividing line between people with good attitudes and people with bad attitudes, that would mean that the person with a horrid attitude could never date the person with a great attitude. That's just not true, there are plenty of people out there with great attitudes that don't care about their mates attitude. This applies to any way you try to define leagues. Many people will not want to date certain other people. Many people aren't good matches for other people. But no one is out of any one else's league, there are no leagues. Nothing i said waz contradicting. We are created equal. So we in that respect, we are all equal. But to say that there aren't leagues sounds like denial or wishful thinking. Certain people simply aren't as desirable as others. Certain characteristics are beyond opinion...there is a point where certain characteristics are good and some are bad. Those bad ones put u in a leauge. Some leagues are good, some are bad, some are in the middle. Just 4 example, tell me how many college educated, drop dead gorgous, patient, well-mannered, in-shape girls do u know dating high school drop-out, alcoholic, slobbish, out-of-shape, jobless, ugly, unmotivated, bad-tempered guys?? but when it comes down to looks there are leagues. i know for a fact im attracted to guys out of my league, probably why im single lol. But u just wouldnt see ugly betty dating brad pitt, no matter how nice a person she is. I never really considered the 'outta league' theory 2 be true until i 1st became single. But that's when i really started watching couples. I started saying "yeah, they seem like they belong 2gether" and "i give them 2 months." When i stress my opinion on the whole 'outta league' thing tho,' i'm talking more about characteristics, personalities, etc...not really looks. But with most of us, looks are the bate that grab our attention. After that, it should be the person themselves...not the looks. But i'll agree that some people who look a certain way will less likely get with some people who look another way. But at the same time, so much of that reflects on one's mindstate. Someone who is in shape cares about beign healthy. Someone with their hair and nail kept nice cares about themselves. Someone who dresses nicely wants 2 look appropriate. Someone who showers everyday holds their appearance 2 a high standard. Some people don't care about some of that stuff. Which 2 me is all personality related. I think this is one of those things none of us are gonna totally agree on...ha ha. But that could also be what puts us in different mindstates...or leagues. :3-laugh3: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnazz Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 Nothing i said waz contradicting. You apparently have a poor grasp of the English language. You may have meant something besides what you posted, but your post was self contradictory. But to say that there aren't leagues sounds like denial or wishful thinking. And to say that some guy's out of that girls league when she should be dating you sounds like complete and utter arrogance with an ignorant attempt at justification. Just 4 example, tell me how many college educated, drop dead gorgous, patient, well-mannered, in-shape girls do u know dating high school drop-out, alcoholic, slobbish, out-of-shape, jobless, ugly, unmotivated, bad-tempered guys?? My fiancee. She is absolutely gorgeous, a former dancer, and not only college educated, but has multiple degrees earning her the title of doctor. When we started dating I was an unemployed college drop out who loved to go out drinking and smoked like a fiend. My house was a mess and I hadn't exercised in a decade. Many people thought she was out of my league and surprised that we where dating. Of course that, much like your view on this, is a shallow description of the situation. That doesn't capture that I'm hella smart and very well read and she values intelligence greatly. It ignores that she thinks I'm a fun person to be around and I can always bring a smile to her face. Most it importantly, it doesn't take into account that I make her feel like she is the most important person on the planet, which, in my eyes, she is. but when it comes down to looks there are leagues. i know for a fact im attracted to guys out of my league, probably why im single lol. But u just wouldnt see ugly betty dating brad pitt, no matter how nice a person she is. That just makes me sad and is exactly why I hate the notion of leagues. You're an interesting, funny, beautiful woman who could snag any number of men with Brad Pitt looks. I find this whole topic hilarous, for the guys who want a good girl, it's all about approach, you need to be confident while trying to attract a female, there's no point thinking that there out of your league because if you think that then that's your first mistake, if you go up to a girl, stutter or mis say things u didnt want to say, it wont get u far, do what I do, I approach a girl and talk to her as a normal person, she could look like halle and have a behind like J-lo but i'll still talk to them like they we're ugly betty, I don't treat no other girl differently because of there looks, I think thats immature, the same goes to girls, even though I dont know alot of girls who chase the guys, because they think that it's the man thing to do :lolsign: and when it comes to looks that is just shallow. nobody wants somebody who keeps saying he's ugly or shes ugly, I know I might speak for a few people when I just simply say I want a nice girl on the inside...have a nice day. Exactly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpinJack AJ Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 This'll be one of those things that we won't have a common ground on. But the bottom line of this whole thing is simply that certain people are not meant to be with certain other people. Which is something we can all agree on. Some of us just have more of a 'theory' on the topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigted Posted March 5, 2007 Report Share Posted March 5, 2007 (edited) Yeah, you can be nice but still have an edge to you. I think it's really all about confidence... ...and listening to Atlantis: Hymns for Disco, the new album by k-os. I find that girls really like my amazing taste in music. God Blessa! Oh definately I agree with that point, amen brotha, like Big Will said in 'Mr. Nice Guy': "Don't mistake nice for being soft", I don't let anyone walk over me, now really if girls don't appreciate a mature brotha with an edge then they truely are immature, now it works the other way too if brothas are just looking for a girl with a nice ass that shows that they're immature 'cause there's more to a real woman than just a nice ass, immature brothers appreciate a woman with a head on her shoulders, and of course if she got a nice ass that wouldn't hurt either, lol Edited March 5, 2007 by bigted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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