Hello readers, you all know me very well. So not much of an introduction is required here, is there? Anyway, I made this topic specifically keeping in mind the male audience of a well known celebrity who goes by the name, Mr. Willard Christopher Smith Jr. So my sincerest apologies to all the female readers who cannot relate to this particular complication. But I assure you ladies, that you too would find this unique condition of much interest. Now what am I referring to, you might ask? Well, I'm referring to the sudden epidemic that has started to spread amongst the fans of Will Smith. It's more of a disease than anything else, and the first few cases had been identified after the much awaited release of the album Lost and Found (a historic masterpiece, I'd like to add). The disease has been identified as Lorettitis, and a person affected by it has been termed as a Loretta. As you all must have noticed, my partner in crime Mr. Timothy Price had already made you all aware of who exactly a Loretta is. But I'm here to help out the male fans who would've come across a few 13 year old Lorettas and may be perplexed on the fact that whether they have contracted this deadly disease named Lorettitis. So here are the major indications of the basic symptoms of this deadly disease:-
1.When you watch the movie Bad Boys, you start to rewind the sequence where Will is chasing the bad guys draped in an unbuttoned shirt and you watch it over and over again.
2.The Pamela Anderson poster that you had for a long time in your room would get replaced by a shirtless Will Smith poster.
3.You cancel your date with your very beautiful girlfirend to watch an old re-run of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air episode
4.You start day-dreaming about Will Smith in your classroom rather than the hot lecturer standing in front of you.
5.Your frequent visits to the restroom will no longer include a Playboy magazine, but US weekly mag with a full feature on Will Smith.
6.You spend exactly 4 hrs, 57 mins and 28 secs on the internet searching for the perfect Will Smith picture.
7.Your parents have now started to wish that you as well had photographs of naked women hidden under your bed rather than Will Smith photographs.
8.You cannot fall asleep in the night until and unless you listen to a Dj Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince CD.
9.You start to dislike Jada.
10.You start to babysit all your neighbours kids to get more practice when someday you hope to meet Will's children.
11.You go under starvation due to depression over the fact that you couldn't find any Will's contact number.
12.You start to scream louder than your sister when you see Will Smith.
13.You steal all the Will Smith pictures that your sister had collected
14.When a girl dumps you stating the reason, "you have another man in your life".
and finally, the last and the most dangerous symptom of all:-
15.When you wake up in the middle of the night realising that the wet dream you had was not about the pornographic movie you had just seen, but of a certain individual whose CD is under your pillow.
There you have it. 15 certified symptoms of Lorettitis. So beware, my fellow men. This could happen to you anytime. So always remember to keep it safe by carrying a CD of Ashlee Simpson by your side to prevent yourself from getting infected by Lorettitis. Or you'll end up as the sick loser who wrote this blog. Thank you and take care.