DevilsJim89 Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Here's my second song, a lil more deeper flavor to it, you're exposed to how its like growing up in high school with weed being the "thing" around ya. This song shows my thoughts about it. Opinions always nice.. ------------------------------- Blinded Date: August 9, 2004 They can't see it They can't see me They can't see themselves Yo they can't see it they want another hit im talkin' bout gettin' involved seeing smart people get their brains dissolved all over the place you see people smokin' taking their minds and doing a chokin' lives and hearts end up being brokin' and the rain pours hard on them that they soakin' i aint speakin of cigs this time its green leaves that fill ya up with grime friends, brothas, sistas tryin that stuff get hooked fast then they ask for a puff they like it because it fills they minds up with fluff askin for a seed so they can plant some weed sayin its somethin they need but it turns into greed they stuck stranded with their last buck hoping they can get some weed with their luck They can't see it They can't see me They can't see themselves 'cause they Blinded They can't see it They can't see me They can't see themselves 'cause they Blinded they can't through the thin and thick as they just wanna get high quick trapped in a daze, lost in the dark so desperate for a lighter, just for a spark gettin' high with a little cotton mouth try sellin it to me, and ill send ya to the south stop askin me if I want any grass man, ill just pass and go on to play with a little base so back up fool, and get the hell outta my face i hate to say it but i'd rather be a thug then to smoke and take a drug ive always wondered what made it so cool stop frontin' man, you just a tool open your eyes and look around you just sendin' ya self straight into the ground because ya blinded Chorus: I learned from watching my friends makin a mistake asking me once in a while if I wanted to partake but I never did take the step because I knew it'd mess wit my rep now people been tellin me that its fun thats clean dont test me son, i aint touchin that kinda green pretty damn beat to see ya movin' dirt just for a stem I'm better then you, ya brother and all of them so wake up and smell the coffee you ain't tough, you just a softee i dont need weed for body fuel because I can kill ya in any rap dual i got no time to deal with ya drips its obvious you've been blinded by an eclipse Chorus (x3) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Brakes Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 I definately wanna hera some audios!! Its hard to judge how good a song is until the rapper delivers it on a track!! But I like the lyrics man!! Keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigted Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 I like that it sends a good message, when i was in high school some kids tried to get me to get high wit them since I'm a rapper they figure that's what I do, but that ain't me, the problem is too many mcs talk about getting high in their songs so that brings a bad influence to the youth, it's nice to see that you're a leader not a follower, do ya thing! :thumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfuqua23 Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Really liked the lyrics. It relates to a pretty big majority. Both those who've gone thru it and have put people thru that. Drugs don't do nothin but mess u up. I'd like 2 hear this audio as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-o-e Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 yeah i like that Jim, like the way you structure the lyrics, the subject is also very good because no one really raps about not doing drugs but doing them, i believe a slow beat but a basey sort of one, a catchy one to get the flow in correctly, da songs dope :rock: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Prince Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 I don't sugar-coat my postings... I like some of it... Infact the majority of it... Almost all infact now I look through it again (I'm feeling some of your lines). In my opinion some of the lines seriously let you down. When you're writing and things aren't working, don't settle for anything less than your best. Re-read and re-write lines you aren't happy about, even if it means totally switching verses around (believe me, I do it a lot on most songs I write). Examples of lines I'm not feelings too much: "they like it because it fills they minds up with fluff"(what do you mean by fluff? Kind of a weak word to use, couldn't you try a more descriptive word that illustrates your point better?), "gettin' high with a little cotton mouth"(sorry, but what do you mean by little cotton mouth?), "ive always wondered what made it so cool" (tip: never use words like "cool" to rhyme with), "you ain't tough, you just a softee"(again, softy another word I wouldn't rhyme with) I'm not critisizing you man, I'm being real to help you recognise things and improve on them... As others have done for me in the past, and as I hope you would do for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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