Silver Tiger Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 I don't know until the conversation starts. I would be the same guy you all know and love and it will WORK. I'll get to the bottom of this. God Blessa! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3cookies Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 (edited) wel lalright then. imma get some rest 2nyte, and ready to see how this goes 2morrow. lol. I can hardly wait, because its always these different perspectives that gets activity going in those inactive parts of the human brain ... lol good mental conditioning for when love goes bad, ... that usually leave us mentally incapable for a short while,,,.. sometimes longer.. I just hope it works out for the best. .. in the meantyme sometimes love sux rotton eggs . lol eugh... thas nasty. lol xo, cookie Edited April 8, 2008 by 3cookies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Hero1 Posted April 8, 2008 Admin Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 let me just chime in with AJ and kev and say work.. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzy Julie Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 yep work too, i did a 12 hour shift yesterday and it was so busy that by the time i got home, i ate, showered and died infront of the tv. and today i worked 10 hours, it was just as busy, i then went to a dance class and im dead again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Tiger Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 I'm about to roll to work too. Just had an interview for another job this morning. What a busy bee I am. God Blessa! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIsqo Posted April 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Well, we talked, and she is right. We have to give this a rest before we end up killing each other. I can tell she still loves me a lot, she just cant stand me right now because we were having soo many little problems and when reunited they make up for a big big one. We decided to take some time apart... Im really sad right now, but at least now I understand a little why she did it, and even though Im not thrilled about it, I cant say Im going to stop her, because deep down inside, I know she is right... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIsqo Posted April 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Oh and dont worry Tiger, U dont have to talk to her anymore... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIsqo Posted April 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 A friend of mine from this forum has a song in her myspace profile that really helps me make my days.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhoon20 Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 The problems you were talkin' bout, was it mostly your fault ? Or hers ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIsqo Posted April 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 I think it was both, but I wanted to solve them all. As a man, I always try to find the solution to every problem we have, and if I cant find it then I just ignore it. She got tired of the situation we were living, and she didnt want to try and solve it because she thought it would only get worse, i guess.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3cookies Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 (edited) NO baby, you can't do that. If there is a problem, and you don't sit down and talk about it... dont you think that will create a larger gap in distance and communication between u two? but thats the key. You dont always have to argue, raise ur voice or get angry every time u fight. If u really love her, give her a little tyme. This is how I would handle it. First put urself in the 'mindset' of when u fell mad & deeply in love. The mere thought of her made u smile, and ur heart just melt and drip of amor. Then. Let her know that before you go further in this 'distance/time apart' thingy, you would like to make positive amends, or at least try to release it with love and high respect 4 one another. You stil havent given much detail, but its all cool. Its a private matter of the heart and u dont wanna put ur business out there like that. but... go backwards in time first. dont think about the problems. Take her back to ur first day meeting. Remind her of that magical eye contact that drew u in2 one another... the first kiss...how u melted when she smiled at u.. etc etc. and what was it like when ur feelings were just growing stronger and stronger, u couldnt go without hearing her voice... awww.. Now. after u get her in the right 'mindset' of remembering how u both were and still capable of being deeply in love.. let her know that all these arguments in the world wont ever change that. EVER. if she wants to argue. (be gentle) I would just smile, and soften ur voice to say as tenderly as u can to her.. "baby not right now. please." Hold her, and give her a a really MEANINGFUL and tender kiss somewhere on her face... side of her nose, her eye, wherever ur heart leads u to the kiss.. trust me. she will be receptiive.. and if she still wants to argue. just let her get it out. u have to NOT argue with her. No matter WHAT she says, u have to remind urself, that (if u say she is right)... SHE is right, and u gotta get the poison out of that wound, in order for it to heal. Cry with her. Just dont raise ur voice. Listen to her with ur heart and not your EGO getting in the way of allowing ur heart to soften to her 'wound'. sometimes we act out in anger, instead of expressing it as pain.. but everybody doesnt know how to verbalize what exactly it is we are feeling when ur in an awkward position. When two ppl are from such different backgrounds, we can run into the most uncomfortable communication barriers, ... we freeze up, and don't free ourselves up to show just who we really are, or even express what we really feel... We say the opposite of what we feel, and act in ways tha seem uncaring ,but is that REALLY the case? Why do we project just the opposite to someone we care for? Why do we do things that hurt the ONE person we love? Why? Sometimes ,its not THEM its us. we have to work on our very own selves. Think about something awful u ever said to her to make her angry. or even jab her in the heart. imagine looking deep into her eyes, and nothing but tears rolling down, all because you said something to the one you LOVE, or something you didnt say... is that how you show ur love to the only special person in ur life? if she cries. holds her head down, do u smash her felings worse? or do u realize,.. oh my God. this is the woman that you have brought into my life... and that I love, look at what am i doing to her. to us. whatever you do, don't ever act as if nothing ever happened, or go without admitting your wrong. Thats morally wrong, and shows no integrity of a real man, or woman. If ur not aware, and she brings it to ur attention. LISTEN to her, and weight it out to determine if you need to correct something, or offer a simple.. oh baby im sorry, i didnt even know I did that.. or i didnt even notice my behaviour, can u forgive me please? etc etc... Its not a matter of what you two have fought over, or who was wrong or who was right. Its more likely what was NOT said. She may have insecurities, or u may have insecurities that was never talked about. You have to creatively & tactfully tap into Unspoken words, cause it can be the key to resolve some issues. Remember u have to be friends. Talk, dont be afraid to open up. When we show that vulnerable side to our partners, we welcome them deeper into our hearts & soul in sharing and caring in a real way, not just for the sake of 'empty words'. Also, its all about forgiving, and sometimes humbling urself and admitting if u were wrong. ALWAYS say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness. After the forgiveness, is when we can move forward and keep building. But we have to work at reviving that loving feeling, saying heart touching things. Fighting, tearing one another down, and even not expressing urself in communicating, will always sabatoge its growth, and give ur love/relationship an untimely death.. why? you're giving up in essence. Don't ever give up, if its a MUTUAL connection of love at one point... One sided love doesnt work, but it doesnt sound like this is the issue here... i know i ramble.. but love is something else. lol Im scared of it tho. touch, taste, see, smell, ... all my senses say run the hell away. LOL j/k. dont mind me. xo, cookie Edited April 10, 2008 by 3cookies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigie Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 NO baby, you can't do that. If there is a problem, and you don't sit down and talk about it... dont you think that will create a larger gap in distance and communication between u two? but thats the key. You dont always have to argue, raise ur voice or get angry every time u fight. If u really love her, give her a little tyme. This is how I would handle it. First put urself in the 'mindset' of when u fell mad & deeply in love. The mere thought of her made u smile, and ur heart just melt and drip of amor. Then. Let her know that before you go further in this 'distance/time apart' thingy, you would like to make positive amends, or at least try to release it with love and high respect 4 one another. You stil havent given much detail, but its all cool. Its a private matter of the heart and u dont wanna put ur business out there like that. but... go backwards in time first. dont think about the problems. Take her back to ur first day meeting. Remind her of that magical eye contact that drew u in2 one another... the first kiss...how u melted when she smiled at u.. etc etc. and what was it like when ur feelings were just growing stronger and stronger, u couldnt go without hearing her voice... awww.. Now. after u get her in the right 'mindset' of remembering how u both were and still capable of being deeply in love.. let her know that all these arguments in the world wont ever change that. EVER. if she wants to argue. (be gentle) I would just smile, and soften ur voice to say as tenderly as u can to her.. "baby not right now. please." Hold her, and give her a a really MEANINGFUL and tender kiss somewhere on her face... side of her nose, her eye, wherever ur heart leads u to the kiss.. trust me. she will be receptiive.. and if she still wants to argue. just let her get it out. u have to NOT argue with her. No matter WHAT she says, u have to remind urself, that (if u say she is right)... SHE is right, and u gotta get the poison out of that wound, in order for it to heal. Cry with her. Just dont raise ur voice. Listen to her with ur heart and not your EGO getting in the way of allowing ur heart to soften to her 'wound'. sometimes we act out in anger, instead of expressing it as pain.. but everybody doesnt know how to verbalize what exactly it is we are feeling when ur in an awkward position. When two ppl are from such different backgrounds, we can run into the most uncomfortable communication barriers, ... we freeze up, and don't free ourselves up to show just who we really are, or even express what we really feel... We say the opposite of what we feel, and act in ways tha seem uncaring ,but is that REALLY the case? Why do we project just the opposite to someone we care for? Why do we do things that hurt the ONE person we love? Why? Sometimes ,its not THEM its us. we have to work on our very own selves. Think about something awful u ever said to her to make her angry. or even jab her in the heart. imagine looking deep into her eyes, and nothing but tears rolling down, all because you said something to the one you LOVE, or something you didnt say... is that how you show ur love to the only special person in ur life? if she cries. holds her head down, do u smash her felings worse? or do u realize,.. oh my God. this is the woman that you have brought into my life... and that I love, look at what am i doing to her. to us. whatever you do, don't ever act as if nothing ever happened, or go without admitting your wrong. Thats morally wrong, and shows no integrity of a real man, or woman. If ur not aware, and she brings it to ur attention. LISTEN to her, and weight it out to determine if you need to correct something, or offer a simple.. oh baby im sorry, i didnt even know I did that.. or i didnt even notice my behaviour, can u forgive me please? etc etc... Its not a matter of what you two have fought over, or who was wrong or who was right. Its more likely what was NOT said. She may have insecurities, or u may have insecurities that was never talked about. You have to creatively & tactfully tap into Unspoken words, cause it can be the key to resolve some issues. Remember u have to be friends. Talk, dont be afraid to open up. When we show that vulnerable side to our partners, we welcome them deeper into our hearts & soul in sharing and caring in a real way, not just for the sake of 'empty words'. Also, its all about forgiving, and sometimes humbling urself and admitting if u were wrong. ALWAYS say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness. After the forgiveness, is when we can move forward and keep building. But we have to work at reviving that loving feeling, saying heart touching things. Fighting, tearing one another down, and even not expressing urself in communicating, will always sabatoge its growth, and give ur love/relationship an untimely death.. why? you're giving up in essence. Don't ever give up, if its a MUTUAL connection of love at one point... One sided love doesnt work, but it doesnt sound like this is the issue here... i know i ramble.. but love is something else. lol Im scared of it tho. touch, taste, see, smell, ... all my senses say run the hell away. LOL j/k. dont mind me. xo, cookie i was missin the long ass posts lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3cookies Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 hahahah.... im sorry Luigie.. u know how i am.. I'm still working on it lil bro.. but its like, pretend he and I was on the phone talking and giving him some slsterly advice. .Id say all of that without taking a breath, LMBO!!! so at least.. im still breathing this way. LOL hehe.. Aj used to tell me to slow down typing when we were chatting on AOL so he can catch up reading . LOLOL xo, cookie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIsqo Posted April 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 lol, thanks Cookie, you have been really helpful to me. I will follow your advise and give her a little time. I think we both need a little time to recover and to think and to miss each other.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIsqo Posted April 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 I know that communication is important. Everybody say it all the time. But for me is not easy to sit and talk about what I feel all the time. I mean, with the guys we dont talk about feelings, unless we are feeling happy or mad. If we are sad, we only say it once. Girls are so easy to feel a thousand emotions over a thing and is easier to them to express them feelings. To me is really hard, and harder when is the first time, like when i realised I was in love the first time, it took me all of my balls to say it to her.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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